Welcome to the tale of my daring bun baking experience in the genre of Jamie Oliver occasionally channelling Nigella.
Today we're going to be making buns. And not just any old buns
So the first thing I'm gonna do is some nice little cinnamon rolls. Lovely soft rolls laced with cinnamon and topped with crisp white fondant. Superb.
Then I'm gonna make some totally wicked sticky buns. Silky soft sweet pillowy rolls dripping with a lusciously smooth bronzen treacly caramel (cue long lilting stare down the camera lens).
Scene One - Cinnamon Buns
Right, first off, the cinnamon buns.
So what I'm gonna do is mix up a dough. All you've got to do right, is cream together some butter, sugar and salt. Throw in an egg. I've got a nice lemon here. What I'm gonna do is add a bit of zest. Just to give it that little bit of zing. (Cue some energetic zesting). Lovely. Now add your flour, yeast and milk. Hey presto, there it is. Now keep the mixer going and let it knead for 10 minutes and bob's your uncle.
Now if the dough insists on clinging to the centre of the dough hook and is just being whizzed around without actually being kneaded or anything. Not to worry. Just take it out and do it by hand.
Now if the dough is so soft that your hand just goes straight through it. Not to worry. All you've got to do is just keep adding flour until it looks about right. There you go, lovely.
So now what I'm wanna do is get really stuck into the dough for about fifteen minutes (cue strenuous kneading accompanied by some heavy breathing and grimacing facial expressions). Don't worry about that burning sensation in our arms. They won't fall off. And who couldn't do with a little bit of toning up. Just think how good you'll look down the beach this summer.
Right, that's done. Just bosh it in an oiled bowl, leave it rise for two hours, and happy days.
Just have a look at that. Totally pukka. Now get yourself a rolling pin and half your dough and turn out a bit of a rectangle. It don't have to be perfect. It's looks better if it's a bit rough and ready. So now what I wanna do is dust it with cinnamon sugar and sort of like roll it up. Lovely.
Right cut the roll into sort of like slices and pop them onto a baking tray. Don't worry if all the filling sort of like falls out onto the counter everywhere. We're going for rustic here. Leave them for another hour and a half until they're all satiny soft pillows of puffy fluffy goodness (cue simmering smirk into the camera).
(Cue shots of running about town on a motor scooter doing pointless errands overlayed by totally random background music from a band that's so ultra trendy noone has heard of it.)
Right, my buns are ready. Into the oven they go. Now's the time to get cracking on the sticky buns.
Scene two - Sticky Buns
Right, roll out the rest your dough, dust with your cinnamon sugar, roll up and cut. Just like before.
Now I'm gonna make the caramel for the top of the buns. Into the mixer goes white sugar, brown sugar, salt and butter. So now what I'm gonna do is cream that and then add in some corn syrup and a squeeze of lemon juice (cue exagerated squeezing complete with facial grimmacing). Keep mixing until it sort of like turns into a rich deeply dusky creamy cream. (Cue a lingering sidelong glance accompanied by a slight smile.)
So just get that into a pan. Nice and thin, about a 1/4 an inch thick which will be lovely. It doesn't have to be perfect, remember it's rustic. And sort of like dot with the buns. Then just leave it to proof.
Scene 3 - Cinnamon buns take two
Right, here are the cinnamon buns out of the oven. Just look at that. That's top top drawer. And in go the sticky buns.
What are buns without fondant icing right. Know what I mean. So here we go. Dead simple. Into a bowl icing sugar, lemon juice and warm milk. Just sort of whisk it together. Really give it some welly. (Cue shots of frenzied stirring with lots of facial grimmacing). That's the ticket. So have a little taste. (Cue finger dipping and tasting followed by some serious consideration). Mmmmm, I'm really pleased with that.
Now what I'm gonna do is just sort of like drizzle the soft snowy confection over the warm flaky sweetly scented buns (cue hair toss, backward head tilt and down the throat spoon licking). Just like that. If you've got endless uses for white fondant, make the whole recipe. You can drizzle it over some little crunchy biscuits, any old bits of fruitcake you've got lying around, your Grandad's false teeth. Go wild. Or do what I did and halve it. Too easy.
Scene 4 - Sticky buns take two
Now what I'm gonna do is have a bit of a peep under the buns before I take them out of the oven. You want to be sure you've got caramel. You really don't want to sort of like overcook them either. They'll go all hard and sort of like crispy. And then they won't be sticky will they.
Right turn them out. Whatever you do don't burn yourself. (Cue shots of an overly dramatic near miss, with a bit of a jump and some finger waving). And there you have it, sticky buns. I don't care what anyone else says there's never been anything better ever in whole history of the entire universe.
(Cue shots of lots of ultra trendy fake friends from central casting arriving, at the exact moment the food is ready, for an ultra trendy fake get together in a supercool rented for the purpose apartment, all overlayed by more random background music.)
(Cue shots of bun nibbling, dripping caramel (which somehow never gets into the long loose hanging hair) and finger licking.)
(Cue shots of central casting being disappointed at the slight dryness and lack of cinnamon in the cinnamon buns, but really enjoying the fondant icing.)
(Cue shots of central casting rhubarbing to each other about how totally delicious the sticky buns are, followed by shots of vague nausea because they are incredibly sweet and rich and scoffing down three in a row is never a good idea.)
Right cheers everyone. See you next time. (Cue late night shot of going into the kitchen and guzzling buns in the dark).
Scene 5 - The credits
Many thanks to Marce for a great challenge. The full recipe can be found on her blog. If it's not there yet it soon will be.
Why not check out the efforts of all the other fantastic Daring Bakers all around the world.